Murder Your Teeth: Tips for getting ready to visit the dentist

Taking care of your teeth is one of the most important things you can do to live a happy and healthy life. Everyone gets that talk (at least I hope you do and if you don't, switch dentists because they obviously don't care about you or your teeth).

I've never minded going to the dentist's office. In fact, I thoroughly enjoyed getting out of school for an hour or two and just sitting while others cleaned my teeth. I always got a new tooth brush and a new kind of toothpaste to try out (no joke, that really made my day). I didn't really do the floss thing all that much when I was younger, so it was the same speech over and over again: floss everyday.

I had an appointment today and I felt all cocky and confident about the condition of my teeth. I floss a lot (every other day) and I brush at least twice daily. I even do the whole rinsing with mouthwash thing when I'm feeling extra sassy. The point being that I was on top of the world.

Today's visit was no different than my usual visits, except the woman that usually does the cleaning wasn't there. It was a fill-in. The visit started off nice and sweet with a polishing job, rinsing, and so on. Then came the flossing. I cried ... okay, almost cried. IT HURT! She knew it, too, and said, "Sorry, but that's how you gotta do it." My poor mouth; I felt violated.  I thought you were supposed to be gentle and nice to your gums when you flossed. This lady murdered them! Apparently you have to, now.

So here are a few tips and things to expect if you are ever anxious about going to the dentist:

1. Murder your teeth. When you floss, really dig in there and make your gums bleed because that is how your teeth become strong and healthy.

2. You know how, after you brush, floss, and rinse with mouthwash, your teeth look nice and white in the morning?  Don't expect them to look nice and white when you leave the dentist. I don't know what they do to make them look that way, but they do.

3. If you expect to suddenly have clean and healthy looking teeth when you brush and floss them really hard right before visiting the dentist's office, you're a fool.

4. Just like when you take your car in for an oil change and they always find something else wrong with it, there will always be something wrong with your mouth; accept it. It's either your jaw, the straightness of your teeth (even when they told you that you didn't need braces), your gums, your wisdom teeth, or maybe it's just that your ugly (that's a joke). They will always find something.

5. Be nice, they have control of your teeth for the next hour.

6. Expect to have an extreme urge to brush your teeth as soon as you get out.

7. Schedule your next appointment when you're there, because when you say, "I'll call when I figure out my schedule",  you're a chicken... and they know it.

8.  Enjoy your experience, because you'll have to go at least twice a year for the rest of your life :D

  

Oh, and if you're this happy... you suck.